I hate hearing people say "babies having babies" but the truth is being 17, I was not financially or emotionally ready to raise a child. My daughter Jenna deserves so much better than what I can give her but I am doing my best. I think back on my pregnancy sometimes and think of all the options that ran threw my head. Abortion? Adoption? Keeping her was completely out of the question. My family was in no way prepared to support child. Growing up with a single mother and my father completely out of the picture, I did not want that for my own daughter. Although me and Jenna's father are still together and in love, I had no assurance we would be together long enough for Jenna to even realize it. After all, most teen fathers are not there to support their babies. The further into my pregnancy Aidan (Jenna's father) and I realized, adoption was much easier said then done. I still wonder, were we selfish keeping her just to satisfy our own needs and wants, and overall not thinking of what was best for Jenna? Would she had a better life with another family? These questions are pointless to keep asking myself because I will never know.
Coming home from the hospital with Jenna I thought, what would it have been like to not come home with her? I can honestly say, trying to think of my life post Jenna, I can not imagine what I would even be doing. After having Jenna, I realized how everything I thought was important as a teenager was nothing compared to having a baby. Everything I used to do was so unimportant, and I will admit I would throw tantrums if I couldn't go hang out with my friends one lousy night.
Now, I hardly see my friends, and I am ok with it. Most of my friends dropped off after I had Jenna, and I really don't blame them. We don't have much to talk about anymore, not much in common. They are out driving around flirting with boys, and I'm at home with Jenna changing diapers and playing peek-a-boo, and I love it!
Not every teen mom out there is a bad mother just because they are young. I think Aidan and I are just as good of parents as people in there 30's. Jenna is the happiest baby and we meet all her needs. I am in no way saying that the ride is easy, but when is it ever? There are good days and there a bad, but that's life.
I know there are other teen moms out there just like me, and I really wish I had some to relate and talk to. Some days are a struggle and sometimes you just need someone who has been there and understands your pain.
Beautifully done!!
ReplyDeleteI'm a 32 year old single mom of an 18 month old baby. It's a struggle at my age, I can't imagine what it must be like for you. You sound very mature for your age. One thing I've learned is friends come and go. I've lost some too since having my child. Hang in there kiddo and enjoy every moment. I look forward to reading more of your blog.
ReplyDeleteLorna, I am right there with you! I was 17 as well and my son was born @ six months and was a single mother, he didn't even weigh two pounds and we were left. Then some of my friends would come and visit and other would say I am lame because I wasn't going out, but bray was my one and only concern. I have matured so much, it is crazy and I love being a mom and wait till she is two and runs up to you and says mommy I've missed you, it makes your day! You are so strong and I know it.
ReplyDeleteDang, I remember being in spanish class pregnant and someone was always saying something, but I'm 19 my boyfriend and I bought our first house and remodled it, I have an amazing job and we do what is best for bray and meet all his needs! Don't ever let people get you down because just turn around and show themdifferent!
Your daught is so beautiful and has two great loving parents!
I'm going to reply to two of ur blogs because I feel the same about both. I am 17 and a mother of a beautiful baby boy named bentley. He is now nine months. Neither was I ready to become I mother at 17 ( bentley was born 2 days after my 17th birthday) but me and my fiance did what ever we had to to make it work. Dustin (bentleys dad) works everyday to support us so I can stay home with bentley. We moved into our own apartment last febuary and life is great. We do what we need to to stay a float. And my baby as well is one of the happiest babies I've every seen. Most of my friends I no longer hang out with because I am a mother but obviously if they don't feel like I'm important enough to come vist with bentley they are good enough to me in mine or bentleys life. I feel like your blog is meaning full to me because I don't .not know many teen moms but the two other I know also are great mothers. (Casey and lindsey). I hate when people asume that because we r young and some other teen moms can't handle it that we are gonna be bad moms because person I think I'm a wonderful mom and by the sounds of it u are too.
ReplyDeleteAlso I want to say about the breastfeeding...I fully breastfeed till bentley was eight months and when I wasn't making enough milk do to birth control a nd I had to stop it was one of the sadest thing for me its such a beautiful thing. And I here so many mothers being like that's gross and then they don't breast feed but breastfeeding is not only good for mothers (it provent cancer and post partum depression) its good for the babies. Its one of the most amazing foods they can eat...so I applude u at that because I don't know many teen moms who even try to breast feed. I love your blogs and I will check back to read more.
Julia
Thank all of you guys for the support, I'm so happy to see people reading my blog! I wasn't sure if anyone would end up reading it. Hope you guys enjoy it! I'll try and post more soon and would love to hear about you guys.
ReplyDeleteYou can also follow me on twitter @lornarosson.
Love to all of you and your little ones!
Lorna,
ReplyDeleteI was a teen mom also.I had my first son @18.I
Had met his dad @15(he's 2 yrs older than me).we got married when he was 18months old.that "baby"is now 22 yrs old.I am 41(tomorrow) and we are still married and had 2 other kids. One when i was 22,and one @ 28.it wasn't always easy and sone days are hard in other ways now.I definitely would not want a newborn now!!(at MY age)lol. I always try to give other teen moms the benefit of the doubt jut like any other "group" there are good and bad.all we can is the best we can do!!
Beautiful heartfelt post! Made me all emotional. I noticed as well how many of my friends disappeared after I had my son because we could no longer relate and I found that the things they complained about were trivial and petty compared to what I went through everyday. I made new friends instead, with other parents and have awesome play dates so it works out well.
ReplyDeleteHaving my son has also brought me so much joy and I could not imagine what it would be like without him now. I find that I am happiest when I can make him laugh or when he falls asleep against me when before I thought going out and partying was satisfying. Having a baby is a completely different sort of high.
Having studied early childhood education in college before having my son and working in various daycares and child programmings: parents come in all shapes and sizes and age has nothing to do with being a responsible parent. Believe me. Some of the worst parents I have met were in their thirties which makes the entire concept of teen parents being toxic sometimes completely irrelevant.
Sounds to me that you are doing what you are putting much thought into your child's needs and that's what matters: consciously parenting with love.
*Sounds to me that you are putting much thought into your child's needs and that's what matters: consciously parenting with love.
ReplyDeleteI neglected to proof read. @___@
I don't have a baby,but I have friends that do & they are aso teen moms.I have been there for them when nobody else has,including their own family.So watching them struggle & go through hard times just trying to provide for their babies makes me cry,& has made me want to wait on having kids until i'm financially stable.But great job on raising Jenna,keep up the great work! :)
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